Killer Klowns Kotton Kandy Ice Cream

Sometime during my childhood, probably sometime around the peak of Joe Bob Brigg’s Monstervision, I remember catching a movie late one night featuring cartoonish yet malicious clowns that turned people into cotton candy and sucked the insides up through crazy straws.  I would later discover this film, in its entirety, to be Killer Klowns From Outer Space.  It’s one of those drive-in B movies that’s so bad it’s amazing.  Deaths by shadow puppets, popcorn kernels that morph into monstrosities, tracker balloon animal dogs, and any other twisted clown trope you could imagine in bright candy colors.  Right up the alley of something that would grace the space of Monstervision on TNT.  While I’d long forgotten most of the antics, the imagery of the cotton candy corpses never left me and I revisited the film recently, sparked by reading the news of International Clown Week.

killer klowns

killer klowns ice cream

Also last week began a seven day streak of high temperatures reaching over 100F, and this in conjunction with Houston’s notorious humidity has marked an uncomfortable summer.  Ridiculous heat and coulrophobia spoke to my muse, I suppose, because I was inspired to recreate those cotton candy pods..just in a cooler format.

I don’t have an ice creamer maker, and frankly don’t want to purchase one.  So instead I concocted a super fast no churn recipe that uses only four ingredients.

Killer Klowns Kotton Kandy No Churn Ice Cream

-1 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk

-1 Tablespoon cotton candy flavoring (I used Lorann’s, which can be found online or at Michael’s)

-2 cups cold heavy whipping cream

-Fluorescent pink food coloring (I used Betty Crocker’s Neon Gel)


1) Line a loaf pan with parchment paper and set aside.

2) In a medium bowl, mix sweetened condensed milk and cotton candy flavoring.  Stir in food coloring.  For this part, you will add a LOT.  It needs to be dark to get it to that bright pink from the film, and this will lighten considerable in the next step.

3) In separate, large bowl, beat the two cups of heavy whipping cream until stiff peaks form.  Then fold in cotton candy mixture until combined.  Be gentle in this step.

no churn mix 2015-08-12 18.32.59

4) Pour mixture into loaf pan, cover with plastic wrap, and place in the freezer.  Freeze for 6-8 hours and enjoy!

Notes: No churn ice cream is a lot more fragile than regular ice cream.  It will melt very quickly and is a bit more fragile.  Also, feel free to add more or less cotton candy flavoring.  Personally, this stuff is strong and anymore than a tablespoon starts to give it more of a bubblegum flavor.  Don’t like cotton candy at all?  Sub in vanilla extract instead.

2015-08-13 18.34.53

This stuff is so creamy you’ll hardly notice it’s made differently.


Xenomorph Truffles (and how to)

I found an Alien “Big Chap” ice cube tray on Amazon and determined that I needed to have such a thing in my possession.  Of course, my freezer already has an ice maker and the Alien ice cube tray consisted only of two normal sized cubed xenomorphs and four small ones so this item really was a novelty purchase.  Struck with a moment of genius (ha!), I thought how cool it would be to come up with a dark outer chocolate shell and neon green cream filling.  Best truffle ever, right?  My kitchen experiment turned out well, so I thought I’d share in case anyone else wanted to make these.  Valentine’s day is coming up right??

This would work with any chocolate or silicone mold, so it doesn’t have to be Alien related (though it should be horror related, otherwise it’d be far less amusing).  First step is making sure your mold is clean and dry.  Next, melt your chocolate using your preferred method, this page explains each method.  For simplicity, I used the disposable bag method.  Be careful when choosing this method that you don’t use a thin ziploc bag that could melt in the microwave.

Next, squeeze/pour chocolate into molds evenly.  For the smaller xenomorphs I just filled to the top, but for the larger ones fill only the bottom and use a clean brush to dip into the bottom and brush along the sides of the mold, covering all surfaces.  Like so:


I would use less chocolate on bottom next round.  The more you have on the bottom of the mold, the thicker your shell is.  Once the mold is filled and coated to your liking, tap the bottom on the counter to release air bubbles and just smooth out the chocolate in the mold.  Pop this in the fridge to set while you focus on your filling.

I went with a simple ganache recipe for this initial experiment:  1/3 cup heavy cream to 12 oz chocolate or candy melt ratio.  Bring the heavy cream to just before boiling and add the chopped chocolate bits, stirring until shiny and melted.

double double, toil and trouble??

double double, toil and trouble??

To get the aesthetic I wanted, I went with the lime green Wilton candy melts.  What an..erm…appetizing color?  Once ready, I poured into a bowl and put in the fridge to set.  When the ganache cooled, I pulled it out of the fridge along with the mold and spooned the filling into the half filled wells.  Keep the filling in the center, away from the walls of the mold, and don’t fill all the way to the top.  If your leftover chocolate has hardened, reheat at this point and fill the rest of the way.  Tap out the air bubbles and put back in the fridge to set.

Finally?  Enjoy.


Next attempt I’d like to play more with the flavors, like a raspberry filling to pair with the chocolate. Really, this is just a basic idea to expand upon (and boy did this inspire a lot of ideas for me).  I used the smaller ones to top cookies and cream cupcakes.  I’ve got ideas how to spruce those up as well…next time…


Cookies and cream..and xenomorphs, oh my.

Cannot wait to try more ideas out.  I’d love to see what you come up with!