Killer Klowns Kotton Kandy Ice Cream

Sometime during my childhood, probably sometime around the peak of Joe Bob Brigg’s Monstervision, I remember catching a movie late one night featuring cartoonish yet malicious clowns that turned people into cotton candy and sucked the insides up through crazy straws.  I would later discover this film, in its entirety, to be Killer Klowns From Outer Space.  It’s one of those drive-in B movies that’s so bad it’s amazing.  Deaths by shadow puppets, popcorn kernels that morph into monstrosities, tracker balloon animal dogs, and any other twisted clown trope you could imagine in bright candy colors.  Right up the alley of something that would grace the space of Monstervision on TNT.  While I’d long forgotten most of the antics, the imagery of the cotton candy corpses never left me and I revisited the film recently, sparked by reading the news of International Clown Week.

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killer klowns ice cream

Also last week began a seven day streak of high temperatures reaching over 100F, and this in conjunction with Houston’s notorious humidity has marked an uncomfortable summer.  Ridiculous heat and coulrophobia spoke to my muse, I suppose, because I was inspired to recreate those cotton candy pods..just in a cooler format.

I don’t have an ice creamer maker, and frankly don’t want to purchase one.  So instead I concocted a super fast no churn recipe that uses only four ingredients.

Killer Klowns Kotton Kandy No Churn Ice Cream

-1 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk

-1 Tablespoon cotton candy flavoring (I used Lorann’s, which can be found online or at Michael’s)

-2 cups cold heavy whipping cream

-Fluorescent pink food coloring (I used Betty Crocker’s Neon Gel)

Steps:

1) Line a loaf pan with parchment paper and set aside.

2) In a medium bowl, mix sweetened condensed milk and cotton candy flavoring.  Stir in food coloring.  For this part, you will add a LOT.  It needs to be dark to get it to that bright pink from the film, and this will lighten considerable in the next step.

3) In separate, large bowl, beat the two cups of heavy whipping cream until stiff peaks form.  Then fold in cotton candy mixture until combined.  Be gentle in this step.

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4) Pour mixture into loaf pan, cover with plastic wrap, and place in the freezer.  Freeze for 6-8 hours and enjoy!

Notes: No churn ice cream is a lot more fragile than regular ice cream.  It will melt very quickly and is a bit more fragile.  Also, feel free to add more or less cotton candy flavoring.  Personally, this stuff is strong and anymore than a tablespoon starts to give it more of a bubblegum flavor.  Don’t like cotton candy at all?  Sub in vanilla extract instead.

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This stuff is so creamy you’ll hardly notice it’s made differently.

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International Clown Week

Apparently, this is a thing.  From August 1st to August 7th, clowns world wide celebrate, promote, and inform.  This year’s celebration kicked off in Showmen’s Rest in Woodlawn Cemetery, located in Forest Park, Illinois. This particular Showmen’s Rest is actually a mass grave for Hagenbeck-Wallace circus employees killed in the Hammond circus train wreck in 1918.  Because many of the bodies were unidentifiable, their graves are marked with their stage names, such as “Smiley” and “Baldy.”  Five elephant statues marks the Showmen’s Rest. Kinda weird, eerie, and moving all at once, right?

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Hagenbeck-Wallace Circus Sideshow

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Showmen’s Rest marker

You can find more information about International Clown Week here, and browse through their pages on coulrophobia and fear of clowns, as well as other extensive topics such as clown college.

In the spirit of coulrophobia and international clown celebrations, I leave you with this international horror movie trailer for Indonesian horror flick “Badoet.”

The entire world shares similar feelings on clowns, it seems.